When The Party Is Over, People Go Out of Order

Words for the Soul:

The music is pumping, and lights shine bright

The crowd is life in the movement of the night

Popping, Dropping, and unlimited shots

The thirst is real, as we all take our lots

Here comes the dim, lights go down

Once royalty, now being de-crowned

All around, the area fades

The remaining people fall into the shade

With the darkness, comes the solitude

Saying goodbye to all the multitude

When all is said and done

Say goodbye to false fun

The reality is when the party is over,

The people go out of order.

            The people who know me best would say, since my youth, I have always been social.  Making friends and picking up strays everywhere I went.  You could say that I have made a habit of trying to see past what is visible and believe it is good in everyone.  This is no different when it came to parties.  I try to bring life to everything I do, and good time fun is no exception.  I was not the type to NEED to drink to have fun, but as cunning and deceptive as alcohol is, it reels you in.  I do not know what it is about it that brings people closer together, but this is something I saw even when I was young.  Growing up our house was the go-to for fun times.  I can remember every birthday, holiday, and even entertainment event, especially boxing, in came pouring the music, food, dancing, family, friends, and yes, drinking.  I would say, this becomes a normal thing to see on a regular basis.  It was exciting to see how much fun everyone would have as we gathered in unity, and it was no different when I began making friends in adulthood.

            Even though my past made me weary of trusting people, I still found a way to put that aside and see the best in everyone.  I continued to make connections with and with who I thought would be long-time friends, but it seemed that every connection I made lasted a shorter time than the last.   What I came to realize, though, we all have our weaknesses, mine was people, and wanting to please them every chance I could.  This is a curse no matter how many times I tried to convince myself it was a blessing.  Making connections was never the problem, it was the types of connections I was making.  Those types of connections tangled me all up in the worst way.

            The common theme I found was when the lights were bright, the music was bumping, and the vibe was chill, that’s when it looks the most attractive.  You can spark a random conversation, click, and even have similar interests with all types of people from different walks of life.  I have met some very interesting people in my lifetime thus far.  Not all people you meet in a bar setting are irresponsible, drunks.  I have met all types of businessmen/women, entrepreneurs, artists, students, and all walks of life sitting inside or outside of a bar.  Some of them, like me, just passed by for a drink or two.  But there was a season of my life where that became a part of my identity.  Wanting to be someone else and pick a different narrative for my story.

            I could be anyone I wanted to be, and that is exactly what I did.  I felt on top of the world and my most confident.  The saddest reality that I had to face, was not about myself, but rather those around me.  I was always appealing, I was always, attractive, and I was always friendly even when I wasn’t even trying, but it was not about me, it was about them.  The more people I surrounded myself around, the more alone I felt.  No matter how many times I tried to get out of the nighttime scene and try to expand our fellowship to different scenarios, no one was interested in it.  It was all about the nighttime vibe and drinking, drugging, and destructing. 

            It became a very lonely thing to not know what friendship could be like with all these people who just days or weeks before were my bar best friends.  Walking into the bar, I am everyone’s bestie, but when the party was over, I became a burden.  All the fun was false, and all the friends were foes.  The worst part of it all is life does not stop happening just because the party stops.  States of emergency still arise, a shoulder to cry on is needed, and loneliness amid the crowd is still possible.  What did I learn most from it all?  That when the party is over, people go out of order.  I had to learn a valuable and important lesson from it all.

            Naturally, people would hold a grudge and close off their hearts to any new experiences that appear similar.  But not me.  I had to learn about forgiveness and understanding individual revelation of the realities of relativity.  Well, that was a mouth full.  Let me explain.  I am not talking about Einstein’s theories or his brilliance here.  I am talking about being relative; Webster’s definition, is “a thing having a relation to or connection with or necessary dependence on another thing” (2022).  In other words, I had to learn, that not all fellowship needs to be intimate.  You can relate with someone on a basic and superficial level.  People can pick up and drop people just at the snap of a finger. 

            Where it is a sad thing, it is also a very real thing.  First and most important, we need to “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).  I had to learn this lesson the hard way, but in a way, I thank God for the hard lessons of life.  I find I learn best through them since I am by nature, of tough skin.

            Some people are just not good for us to have in the intimate parts of our lives.  If you are like me, you have an extremely soft spot for people, and let them in without question.  By nature, this who I believe God created me to be.  In the right context of course.  Since not all intentions are pure, I believe this is also how God protects me.  By keeping those sorts of people out of the way.  Before having this understanding, it was a lonely and spiteful road.  Now that I have it, I give it to you.  Free of charge but make it worth it.  Love yourself enough to keep out the people who do not love and value you for the beautiful creation of Heaven that you are.  The wisest person I know once told me, “You don’t need to lower your values to show people you care about them; the right people will see you and love you for who you are” (Bobby G.)  Keep shining brighter than a diamond.  You will leave your mark in the right time and in the right place.

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