Ok, NOT Ok!

Simple thoughts or painful reality
I’m “okay” …Not!

They say, “it’s ok not to be ok”. But then when everything that which was “ok” no longer is, it then presents the question, “Is it really still ok, NOT to be, ok?” We say the mediocre, mainstream things that create a false sense of trust and intimacy, in the end, only to have no safe place to unwind the lack thereof, the “ok”. The facade of what we find when we seek to be filled is only left to the very emptiness we were afraid to experience, to begin with.  To follow, we find the judgment and despair of loneliness by the same facetious connections.  All have fallen short and have these moments in their daily lives, yet some are better at concealing the reality of being in fact, “NOT OK!”    


We all do it, don’t we? We walk around with the “have it together” face, or the ” I got this” attitude. Or my personal favorite, “everything is ok” expression. Do we not ever get tired, worn out, or just plain emotional when the obstacles or traumas of life sneak up? Should we really judge one another for going through the normal roller coasters of life? I think not! It is a normal part of life to go through processes in which we are in healing. There are times of life when we are seemingly doing well and feeling on top of the world. Not only are you extremely dependable, but you are also available and loveable in all areas of life. There are other times, and often, when we are in more than a funk of life, and there may be something deeper there that no one expected. When these times hit, it seems like an impossibility to move on or even have anywhere to turn. The same people that once looked up to you, look away when disaster hits simply because they do not know what to do, or only want to see your best and not deal with your worst.

Here is some basic Science

There are times where things may go wrong, but this is not the same thing. Many people ward off a bad day with a deeper issue that can really warp the brain if we do not deal with it. Let’s take a look at some “Neuroanatomy” for a few moments, stay with me. There are certain types of the brain like the Reticular Activating System (RAS) that are crafted in this wonderful body of ours in our daily functions. In simple terms, this is a part of the brain that contributes to the function of “attention, arousal, modulation of muscle tone, and the ability to focus” (2021) NCBI. Another part of the brain that aids in the daily function of thought is the “Amygdala”, “the integrative center for emotions, emotional behavior, and motivation” (2020) UT Health. If at any given time throughout our lives we have trauma, these two parts of the brain (among others), that may be affected causing an alteration in brain functionality and interpretation. If this happens, our reason is affected and our intention to move forward past our feelings is not at full capacity and it is that much more difficult to express. Whether it is a neurological challenge or we are having a bad day, the brain is a beautifully complex part of what makes us who we are. Should we really have to put up a front about how we are feeling simply because others will not accept us if we are less than perfect?

Time for a harsh Confession

No matter who are, what accomplishments we have achieved, or how much money we make or don’t make, we all have emotions that tend to take over from time to time. The reality is that some people are just better at the way they chose to wear their masks. There is nothing wrong with NOT having it together 100% of the time. What is even more important than that, it is ok to be honest about it when it happens. Mental health is more important than anyone knows or chooses to accept. When we cannot be open and honest with our emotions, it causes more harm than not. It is time we stop being fearful of judgment or abandonment and get real with our minds and hearts. In addition to the courage of this new honesty, we as a people need to stop criticizing what we refuse to understand in others and the things they have gone through that created the struggles we deal with. We all have a past and present that leads to how we will approach the future. Whether we are battling mental health, behavioral health, substance abuse, or simply managing everyday life, we are no different from one another and it is time we stop acting like it. Rather than turning on our brothers and sisters, we should walk with a posture of love and acceptance so that we can put an end to the division once and for all. None of us are all there yet, and that is ok. I am not alone and neither are you!

Still, Hope Remains

Anyone who has gone through any sort of emotional distress can tell you, it is bad enough without feeling alone from rejection or abandonment. The truth is that we all want to be loved, especially in times of the roller coaster of our emotions. Who doesn’t, right? No one is called to walk this life alone. Not necessarily just in a “romantic relationship”, but in the fellowship of “bearing one another with love” (Ephesians 4:2). No matter where you may stand on religion or what your perspective about God is, there is hope in His love. Most days, if I can be honest, I do not even know where I stand with life let alone if my faith is strong enough. If anyone can understand your skepticism is me. I know what it is like to be up and down through even the good times. Of course, it is easy to doubt life when things are bad, but it can still happen when you are too afraid to enjoy the good times while waiting for the other shoe to drop. There is still hope no matter how alone people have made you feel, God still has a place for you. We are all in a different place and walk of life, and we are not supposed to be perfect. Wherever we find ourselves in our mind, emotions, or spirit, we can run and “hide in the shadow of God’s wings”
(Psalms 17:8). Walk with humility, act with patience, and always remember YOU ARE LOVED EVEN IF
YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF! You are beautiful, family. Be blessed!

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