“Facetious fellowship, no fueled connection. Wondering minds, conclusions abroad. Quiet whispers of curiosity and wonder. Distances shows indifferences, perspective shift. The ocean of doubt, the flood of fury, aggression to progression. Sensory gone, depth lost. Spotlight dims, compassion fades, revealing the light of darkness that lingered, the shadows waiting for the moment of entry. Status to unclaimed fame, the result, a name of shame. No box fit, no rule broken, simply a misunderstood balance of radical redemption and revolution. A crowd that faces familiarity over factuality, never having functionality. Army of false warriors revealed at the sight of war, hearts of cold, souls of ice. Frozen ever present simply in existence and not that of presence. Over time, attempts of failure for genuine relation. Association of friendly’s linked merely by need, the heartbreak of reality revealing the separation of independence. At the sight of deception, the evidence of easier disconnection between that of the like-minded, clinging to nothing; only the façade.“ KrizG
Growing through life and different times of trials and triumph, we often face cross-roads on whether a “community” of people is necessary or not. This is the un-answered question of many people who claim they are ok being solo. Solitude and isolation are the best friends of desolation. When falling into the pit of misery or simply just sad moments of passing experiences, when alone, there is more opportunity to dig yourself a dark grave with only YOU at the funeral. “What’s the point?”, they ask, curiously in wonder of the worth of the cost. On one hand, a worthy question as to the ability to have a real connection; one without the material “need” of possession. Another perspective could be the pain of reality settling in at the discovery that is, to only be useful on occasion. Maybe that the weight of your pain is just too much to bear in comparison to the skill acquired of suppressing one’s true emotion because of certain pain caused by experiences of life. Whatever the reason, people and problems are inevitable. Whether dealing with the problems of people, or people being the problem. Nevertheless, we still have the questions, “Is it necessary to have friends?” “What is the point of having friends if no one is intentional these days?” “Do people really want friends or followers?”
The bible tells us:
Proverbs 27:17 ESV
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
John 15:13 ESV Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
So why does it seem impossible to keep or find good friends? In the society we live today, it seems as though your social media will get a like or a heart before you get a return text on a question or a check from days ago, right? I know your struggle. Sometimes, as a direct result of our desperation to feel loved or even cared about in our loneliness, it also seems like a wish upon a star in the world of impossibility and competition with the computer screen of facetious fellowship. You might even wonder, “Am I the problem?” Let me just tell you right now friend, the answer is, NO; you are not the problem! The devil is the problem, obviously. But more than that, it takes a heart check. Let me explain.
Why take the blame on yourself when we are, by human acceptance, responsible for our actions? Especially when said actions are made by CHOICE, aren’t they? Fueled by a sense of motivation of course, but still our choice. In our current chapter of life as a nation, our choice is currently fueled by things of safety. Not meeting to be safe for ourselves and others. But what about before our nation’s current crisis? How will it look after the pandemic? The word we are looking for is “priorities”. How we set our priorities in our lives sets the tone for everything else we may do in this life. Whether our chores, our bills, or our relationships. Therefore no ONE person can be blamed for how people choose to prioritize the things they see important. I think that we can agree that bills and responsibilities may come first in the lives of most, but you cannot blame yourself if someone thinks their social media followers are more important than your friendship.
As we are used to looking outward for explanations to what and why things happen in life, the challenge today is to look internally. Look in your heart and really seek out the answers you desire for your unanswered questions. The question is not “what’s the point?”. That is the rhetorical question created by your subconscious as a direct result of the pain caused by your broken relationships, friendships, or how we have put ourselves out there on risks we have taken in life. Whoever you are, whether the person scar-ed by relationships, or maybe the person who may have scar-ed another by not being the friend you know you can be, we all must look internally at some point and check our motives. In our right to choose, we must also choose to look within and ask the most difficult questions we will have in life. This question is today’s challenge to anyone who sees fit. Whether you are on social media more than your text messages/phone calls, or small group night is more convenient than intentionally planning to make an appearance at a friend’s game night/friends date night, or you are the person that wants a true friendship connection, and it seems impossible to find, the question is still the same for all of us. WHAT TAKES PRIORITY IN YOUR HEART?
The reality of TRUTH
It is no secret by now, I am probably the most radical Christian that people will encounter. I choose to believe it is because I have no filter when it comes to the truth of reality. As a Christian who also loves knowledge and science, I have the living word of God, and that is Truth. But as a human, I also have feelings just like anyone else, also to be included, the neurological understanding of how our bodies work. We cannot look past either one of these truth’s, but with the power of choice comes the responsibility of setting our priorities properly. If we lead by emotions, we could hurt someone or even turn it inward and allow our emotions to lead us right into depression. The saying goes, “hurting people hurt people”. My choice to follow the teaching of Jesus is for this very truth. I choose to let Jesus lead because I am a mess without Him. So, whether you are a believer, or not, we are still faced with difficult questions. Most of those questions will be made internally. Today, I will close with these internal questions. It is totally ok to look out for you and yours when necessary, but what REALLY makes that default mentality any different from people who go out and just live a life of anarchy against the system, causing chaos, division, racism, abuse, sabotage, or any other form of “acting out”? Do they not have their choice too? We stand for equality and justice, yet our friends are a passing façade. We fight for “the cause” or what’s “trending”, but we neglect our family for followers. Here is the truth of “reality”. Eventually, no matter who you are, you will need someone. A call from a friend for a prayer, for advice on your current issue and their experiences, or maybe even contact that family member you have not heard from in a while because you miss them. Whatever the need, it will come. In the words of the great Bill Withers in his 1972 classic “Stand by Me” we all need someone to lean on. Try not to be the person that only has needs and does not give back that need. I know you do not like it, so please do not do it to someone else. Now, it is your turn to be bold. Ask yourself, “What will take priority in life today?”