The late Robin Williams was onto something in his revelation of bad company and the space it takes up. Often, there will be people in our lives that will have no problem taking the grace you freely give, those who will lean on you mentally and emotionally, those who will claim love, yet it is conditional. Sadly, these will be the same people unwilling to give you even a fraction of what you have given them. The best part? When it ends, because it always will, they will be the first ones to cut you open and watch you bleed-out. No matter how much you beg them to stop.
All your mistakes, all your fails, even a past they were NOT a part of will come up as a weapon to defeat your faith, to tear down your integrity, to hurt you, to make you feel worse than you probably already do. As if they knew you then. As if they were there. As if they themselves don’t have their own record of wrongs, hurts, and lessons. It will come at random and without warning. It will come aggressively. And it will always hurt most when it comes to those who claim to LOVE us. Sadly, even though the difficult times can develop us in growth, some will instead use it define your worth.
People are quicker to take what you have intimately between your legs, rather than accept what is in your heart, mind, and spirit. No matter how much you strive for better or success amid pain, get up and fight for life, you will still not be good enough to those who sit on their OWN THRONE of judgement as they pass their perspectives onto others. Those who do not have sight will NEVER see. Let those who have vision, cast it without restraint. No one will ever know the depth of pain that involves losing parts of yourself and fighting to get it back constantly until it happens to the one thing that we need most … OUR BODIES. It comes so quickly and is inside you one minute and no longer is the next. The miracles of life that yet, become the misery of death. The burden of sickness is unexplained, or pain despite the plans. How easy it is for one to walk away when one is not directly involved. How easy it is to judge those who are seen versus those who can hide in the dark because their scars don’t show.
How easy it is to point out the flaws in another in times of difficulty out of one’s control. Learning to navigate the raging seas when the storms of life begin to take over. Not having a plan for every pain, not able to create a masterpiece until the miracle comes, yet, it does not mean defeat, just temporary discomfort. We talk so often about the mistakes of others and create our own conclusions based on our broken perspectives from past pain that eventually create false narratives, to hide from or justify our offense against the world. It then gives them a reason to retreat and have even more distrust against it.
Will it ever end? Yes, it will … it starts with YOU. It starts WITHIN. It is NOT our past relationships, NOT our parents, NOT our family, NOT our pets, NOT our businesses, NOT our looks, NOT our intelligence … it starts with our CHOICE. Not to just SAY we want better, but to BE and DO better. So, let’s just stick our chest out, get our healing done, and let’s stop blaming people; or financial hits; or bad blood, or broken relationships. Take some accountability. We all must even me. Go to counseling, get some mentors, take a class, there are so many options available, even virtually. We are all on our way towards a greater purpose at the end of the journey. Only the great ones will arrive at the destination of success. This success that is determined by wealth, but rather, by our intentionality, loving others, loving yourself, and giving peace not pain.
CONFESSIONS FROM THE OTHER SIDE 